


Forever Yours.

by wanneable



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Cocaine, College, Frat Parties, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Overdosing, Recreational Drug Use, hinted yugbam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11157555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanneable/pseuds/wanneable
Summary: Jaebum and Youngjae have been best friends since elementary school, but when they enter the same college together, Youngjae notices a change in Jaebum. A change he never wanted to see in the boy he loved.also known as, "the one where Jaebum takes to the bad side of college life"





	Forever Yours.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so bad rip me rip y'all 
> 
> Also side note that this is based more on an American schooling system

Youngjae was hopelessly in love with Im Jaebum. 

It started out as an innocent crush his sophmore year of high school. Youngjae had just began to realize that he liked the boys in his class and not the girls when he realized he noticed one boy in particular more than the rest, his best friend since kindergarteners . He tried fighting his feelings, he really did, trying multiple times that it was just an attraction, an innocent feeling that would fade over time. 

Over time, though, Youngjae began to realize that his feelings had truly turned into love. Throughout the rest of his high school life, he painfully fell even harder for Jaebum, crying himself to sleep at night knowing his feelings would never be reciprocated. 

Being a good best friend, he would sit awake on Jaebum's bed until the early morning, listen to the other go on and on about some girl Jaebum was dating, and the only thing Youngjae could do was smile and nod and pretend it wasn't breaking his heart.

He told himself that entering college, he would bury his feelings deep down inside himself, promising to never let them resurface. It would only hurt him and possibly cause him to lose the greatest friend he's ever had. 

But of course, the dorms were worked out where Jaebum and Youngjae roomed right next to each other, Youngjae with a vibrant boy named Yugyeom and Jaebum with a scholar student, Jinyoung. During the first month of college, the four began hanging out together, acquiring three other friends from various classes: Mark, Jackson, and a kid who only goes by "Bambam." 

During that first month of college, though, Youngjae began to notice a change in Jaebum. It started when he saw that Jaebum started having a certain aura about him that radiatied "high schooler's basement": weed. Youngjae wasn't completely familiar with it, but he went through high school, he wasn't stupid. 

He noticed Jaebum's eyes carrying a certain tint of red to them when they met late at night for coffee breaks or study sessions. When Youngjae had once asked Jaebum how he stayed so calm when their was so much homework and schoolwork and exams, Jaebum had just replied, "I have a stress reliever, nothing for you to worry about, 'Jae." Then he ruffled the younger's hair, and Youngjae swore it felt like they were innocent high schoolers again, staying up too late just to talk and joke and laugh. It was a nice feeling.

Youngjae could handle Jaebum smoking weed. Jaebum was responsible for his own actions, so if he thought he could handle it, he could handle it. 

But it really took a turn 3 months later when Jaebum showed up to Youngjae's dorm around 3am. Yugyeom was staying with Bambam for the night, as if it wasn't obvious they were together, at least in some sense. 

Jaebum had just come right into Youngjae's room, stumbling. Youngjae was just finishing putting away his textbooks, and jumped at the noise of the other boy coming in.

"'Jae." The boy slurred, not quite drunk but not quite sober. "'Jae," he repeated, "I've been doing bad stuff." Youngjae quickly ran over to the boy, holding him in his arms, supporting the older. 

"It's okay, I know." Youngjae told the boy, laying him down in his own bed. 

"You don't, you don't know." Jaebum repeated over and over, but Youngjae quieted him down, and began to take off his shoes and jacket, to make his best friend more comfortable. 

That's when he felt something small and hard in the inner pocket of Jaebum's jacket. He slowly reached his hand in and pulled out the object inside.

A small mirror, with a bit of white dust sprinkling the edges.

Youngjae wasn't dense. He knew what was going on. Jaebum started doing cocaine.

The weed he could handle, but not this, not cocaine.

He panicked and threw the mirror into the drawer on his desk and locked it, because he knew he'd be in deep shit of Yugyeom ever found it. 

With shaky hands, he walked back over to his bed, watching the sleeping figure beneath him, as Jaebum had already dosed off. He softly brushed back the hair from Jaebum's forehead and sighed. 

As Youngjae made the move to cross the room and sleep in Yugyeom's bed for the night, and hand around his wrist stops him. "Come here, 'Jae." 

Youngjae froze, he couldn't deny his best friend. So Youngjae hesitantly slid into the sheets beside the other man, and he felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around his waist. Jaebum pulled him closer as he dozed off into sleep again, and Youngjae settled against him.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Im Jaebum."

 

When Youngjae woke, Jaebum was gone.

He groggily sat up in his bed, missing the warmth only Jaebum provided, and glanced around. Both his shoes and jacket were no one to be seen. 

He figured Jaebum would be gone, but it still hurt to know he just left him. Youngjae was about to mope to class when his phone buzzed with a text.

"meet me on our rooftop whenever you wake up" from Jaebum.

"Their rooftop" was the top of the Math building, whereas the door leading up had a broke lock that seemed no one cared for. As long as you can sneak past the teachers roaming the halls, you can easily get to the roof. 

Jaebum first discovered it after ditching a class one day and convinced Youngjae to join him. Since then, this was the place where the two boys could just talk. Just like high school.

When Youngjae reaches the roof, he spots Jaebum, he's sitting down, smoking what looked like to be a regular cigarette. Youngjae sits beside him, pulling his legs into his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. They say in a silence, neither quite knowing what to say. 

Youngjae spoke up first, "You've changed." They were simple words, yet held so many meanings. 

Jaebum exhaled a puff of smoke. "I know."

Youngjae turned to the older, "You know?" He says, his voice bordering anger and sadness. "Then do something about it. I'm not going to handle your shit anymore." 

"I know."

"I care too much about you to watch you do this! You're hurting yourself."

"I know."

"Then do something about it." He repeats. Both boys know Youngjae had more to say, he just didn't want to. Saying it would make it real. 

"I want to get better, 'Jae. I want to get better for you. Only you."

"Only me? Wh-" Youngjae was cut off by the press of Jaebum's lips against his own, shock flooding his body. But Jaebum moved a hand to Youngjae's waist, and Youngjae closed his eyes and moved his lips with Jaebum's. 

They moved in sync, only pulling apart when both needed air. Youngjae placed his forehead against Jaebum's. Jaebum tasted like cigarette smoke and vanilla. It lingered on his lips. 

"Why did you- why would you do that?" Youngjae questioned quietly, disbelief finally taking over.

"I wanted to. I've wanted to for a while, and I think you did too." 

Youngjae can't stop the blush from creeping onto his cheeks at Jaebum's comment. He had wanted to for a while, but he didn't want to admit it. "What does this mean, Jaebum? Why would you just kiss me like that?"

"Because I wanted to know if you would be my boyfriend, Choi Youngjae." 

 

It didn't take long before Youngjae began to meet the person who changed Jaebum's life. 

It was a month later when Jaebum managed to drag Youngjae to a so-called famous frat party one weekend. Even though he resisted, he went along anyway. He worried that if he let Jaebum go alone, he might do something he regretted. 

"Loosen up, Youngjae. This is supposed to be fun!" Jaebum ruffles the younger's hair as they walk through the front door. Even from outside, Youngjae could here the sound of thumping bass music and could smell the smoke. 

There were hardly any lights on in the house. The rooms had a hazy red glow to it from the lights on the large speakers placed throughout the house. Jaebum pulled Youngjae over to a couch where a few other students were scattered around. 

Jaebum sat down, and Youngjae sat practically in his lap, legs thrown over the older's and his back leaning on the couch's armrest. 

Youngjae touched Jaebum's arm and the elder lit a cigarette dangling from his lips. "Are you okay?" The meaning behind his words are clear, he was asking if he was clean, and wanted to stay clean.

"I haven't messed with that stuff in a month, 'Jae. You know that. I'm fine." Youngjae nodded, smiling at the other. He was so glad that his boyfriend had taken the adult step and left behind the cocaine and weed. 

Jaebum smirked at the other, before blowing the smoke in his mouth towards Youngjae's direction. Youngjae squirmed, hips twisting on Jaebum's thighs, "Gross, Jaebum." 

Jaebum just smirked more, sliding out from under Youngjae to stand up. "I'm going to get us some drinks, so we can really get this party started. I'll be back." He leaned down to quickly kiss Youngjae's head and head in the direction of what Youngjae guesses is the kitchen.

A few minutes later, another man came from the direction Jaebum just exited towards and sat down across from Youngjae. "You know Jaebum?" were the first words to leave his mouth. He must have saw them together.

The black haired boy nodded. He didn't feel like holding a conversation now, but did for the sake of making his boyfriend happy. "He's my boyfriend."

The man leaned back, "so you're Youngjae? Nice to finally meet you, Jaebum never shuts his damn mouth when it comes to you. I'm Onew." This comment made a small blush creep onto the top of Youngjae's ears. He was glad Jaebum talked about him to his friends.

"Well, nice to meet you, Onew. You already seen to know my name." Youngjae glanced around the room. He didn't know much about parties, but he didn't think Jaebum should be gone for this long.

"Yeah, so you must know about how well Jaebum has taken to college life? I helped him get into the goods. My " The smirk the man, Onew, sported told Youngjae exactly what he was talking about. "Oh, yeah, I do. Jaebum doesn't do those things anymore, though." 

Onew sat back further in his chair, flicking his head towards the kitchen, a smirk haunting his lips. "You sure about that?"

Youngjae froze. Of course he was sure, he told himself. Jaebum had promised to get better. He promised to get better for him. Youngjae quickly stood up, "Excuse me, but I have to go."

He ignored the ugly laugh of the man that was formerly sitting across from him, snaking his way through the crowded house of drinking students and couples practically having sex in the hallway. He reached the kitchen, and had to brace himself to the doorframe to keep from falling. 

Jaebum was standing behind a kitchen island, leaning over it, and snorting thin white lines. He straightened up, and then he was laughing, a full "throw your head back" laugh.

"Im Jaebum!" The younger boy shouted, anger laced through his voice in the form of a growl. He couldn't believe his eyes. Jaebum promised.

His boyfriend stopped his laughing to make eye contact with the other, his face falling as he realized what was going on. Everyone had stopped to watch the two boys in the kitchen.

"I'm leaving." He choked out, quieter this time, but no less mad. He pushed through the people, making it to the door and forcing it open, and walking all the way back to his dorm.

Yugyeom was there, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone when Youngjae forcefully opened the door, slamming it into the wall and making Yugyeom jump 5 feet into the air.

Youngjae sunk to his knees, and let his tears fall. 

"Youngjae?" Yugyeom quietly questioned, dropping his phone and running over to the boy. "Youngjae? What's wrong?"

Youngjae wrapped his arms around the boy and cried into his shirt. He told Yugyeom everything, from the weed to the cocaine, to that night. "He promised me, Gyeom. What hurts the most is that he lied to me. He promised."

Yugyeom rubbed the older boy's head, running his hand through his hair. Behind Jaebum, Yugyeom was Youngjae's biggest friend. They had spent so much time together that they knew almost everything about the other.

"He will get better, Youngjae. We will find him help." The elder calmed himself after that, and was about to sleep the events off when he heard a knock at the door. He stood to get it, praying that Jaebum wouldn't be facing him on the other side of that door. The gods must have not heard his prayer.

"Youngjae, plea-"

"Don't do this Jaebum. You promised me, and you broke that promise. You're hurting yourself and hurting me. You've changed! Can't you see that? You're rough with me, and your mood changes every minute. I hate this, and I hate you for doing this to yourself. I don't want any bullshit, Im Jaebum. Call me when you're you again." And with that, he slammed the door, locked it, and went to bed.

Youngjae didn't hear from Jaebum for a month. He was sitting in Jinyoung's room, as they both were studying for a World History exam coming up, when Jaebum's name popped up on his screen. His eyes widened, and he turned to Jinyoung, who urged him to answer it.

"H-hello?" He breathed into the phone after he managed to answer. 

"Youngjae? Can we talk? I have some things I need to tell you. Meet me at the roof." Jaebum hung up after that.

That's how Youngjae found himself climbing the stairs of the math building at approximately 1:31 a.m. in complete darkness. He opened the door to the roof to find Jaebum standing by the edge of the roof. 

"Jaebum!" Youngjae yelled, running over to the boy, who turned around and smiled. "Relax, I was just looking. It looks pretty from here at night."

Youngjae nodded, but was focused on other things. "What do you need to tell me?"

Jaebum sat down with the boy, and began speaking. "I've been talking to some people. Some doctors. I'm getting help. I'm getting better, all because of you." 

Youngjae looked down. "How do I know your not lying? You've lied to me before." He whispered to the ground. He couldn't make eye contact.

Jaebum grabbed his hand, "I'll show you the doctor's notes. I'll show you anything. Just ask me and it's yours. I just want you to be mine again. I want to get better, because I hate myself like this. I make you upset and I hate myself for it. I used those things to forget my troubles, but now I have you, and I never want to let you go again." 

Youngjae couldn't help but smile. Jaebum was always so cheesy. "I never stopped being yours."

Jaebum smiles back, "we need a spiritual cleansing." 

The boys spent the next day at a hair salon, checking out all the dyed lined up on the walls. Jaebum gets called, telling Youngjae that he is dying it a "mystery" color. Youngjae gets called back not long after. They finish around the same time, Jaebum sporting dark red, Youngjae with a chestnut brown. They laugh at each other, with each other, and for each other. They are new people now.

The next few months are spent together, kissing and cuddling and going on dates. Jaebum is clean, and Youngjae feels like they are actual boyfriends now, no secrets. 

Youngjae is able to introduce Jaebum to his parents as his boyfriend. They go on 4am coffee dates, and 7am ice cream dates. They go to zoos, amusement parks, and movies. They go together.

Youngjae woke up one April morning lying in Jaebum's arms, and smiles at the already awake boy. They are in Jaebum's room, since Jinyoung stayed with Mark for the night. "Good morning, sleepy head," Jaebum teases, kissing his head, "it is already one in the afternoon!"

Youngjae smiles a sleepy smile, "sorry about that. I'm a bit tired after last night's events." He lets out a soft laugh, and so does Jaebum.

The younger of the two traces circles all down Jaebum's arm, until he reaches his elbow, or to be more specific, the inside of his elbow. 

Bruises.

"H-how did you get these?" He asks in a shaky voice, but the way Jaebum tenses his jaw and looks away tells him everything he needs to know.

"Heroin." Youngjae answers for him. 

"It's not like that." Jaebum goes to explain, but is interrupted by Youngjae getting up and gathering his things and preparing to walk the few feet to his room.

"I don't care what it's like, I'm done. Done with the lying and the drugs and the weed and the cocaine and now the heroin. I gave you a fucking chance, you blew it, I'm done. Don't get better for me, get begged for yourself, you deserve it."

He missed his best friend. He missed the long nights playing video games and talking about nothing. He missed everything about their life before college. 

He didn't see Jaebum for another month. 

He saw him the TV he was watching with Yugyeom.

He saw him on the news.

He saw his picture, along with the headline: "college student overdosed on heroin, pronounced dead."

Yugyeom gasped, throwing the remote at the television. "No, Youngjae. They're wrong. It's wrong? He was at home the past month, remember? He was with his family." 

Youngjae couldn't hear him. His phone was ringing. It was Jaebum's mother. He dropped his phone. He answered it, and heard Jaebum's mother, who he also thought of as a mom, deliver the heartbreaking news. He already knew. 

He stumbled to Jaebum's room. Jinyoung wasn't there. He lied in Jaebum's bed. He sobbed. He sobbed for what felt like hours. He wasn't there for his best friend. Instead of helping him, he pushed him away and made him do it alone. 

He punched the bed, and heard a crinkle. Paper? He pulled out the the source of the noise. It was an envelope. It was addressed to him. 

He choked back a sob and opened the envelope with shaking hands. He cried again, just at the sight of Jaebum's handwriting, and the words on the page began to settle in his mind.

"Dear Youngjae, my love, 

I'm so sorry I did this to you. I put you through hell just because I was stupid and careless. I thought getting a high would only help me, but it hurt both me and my friends. I wrote this to you knowing I had no hope, I had an addiction. I was going to lose it at some point. I just wish it wasn't so soon. 

Please do not blame yourself at all. This is not your fault. It's mine. I couldn't handle myself and let something horrible take over my body. I was corrupted. But you aren't. You are what's good in this world. You are an angel, while I was your burning devil. I couldn't do that to you anymore. I don't want to go, but I don't think I'll be able to stop myself next time. 

You can't get sick, not at all. Take care of yourself and find someone who's good for you, and treats you well. Not like me. 

I love you, Choi Youngjae, I have since kindergarten. Thank you for making me happy. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you.

Yours, Im Jaebum." 

You will forever be mine, Youngjae thought. 

I am forever yours.

**Author's Note:**

> well rip me rip jaebum   
> Also sorry for making jaebum such a bad guy i didn't try to   
> Thank u fer for the ideas I'd be dead without you <3  
> The end is so rushed because I got tired but there's something there I'm sorry y'all   
> If y'all want my twitter it's @bamsyoongi  
> dm me about bambam and ill love u forever


End file.
